Are you struggling to handle toddler temper tantrums? Toddler temper tantrums can be terribly frustrating and embarrassing for parents. They may feel as if they are the only ones with this problem, but it happens to many people.
People who have never had a toddler may not understand why toddler temper tantrums happen or how to handle them. However, there are many strategies that can help make toddler tantrum time less of a struggle and more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Here I’m going to help you to understand what is temper tantrums and some helpful tips on how you can effectively manage your toddler’s anger so that everyone in your family can live a happier life.
What is a toddler temper tantrum?
Temper tantrums are a toddler’s way of expressing strong emotions such as frustration, anger, and anxiety. They feel so strongly about something that they respond by lashing out and throwing big fits.
These feelings come from the part of their brain called the amygdala which is not fully developed in toddlers and therefore can be less able to handle strong emotions than adults are.
Tantrums usually start between 2 to 4 years but normally last until around age 5 years old. These ages vary depending upon each child’s temperament and learning style.
The types of toddler temper tantrums include:
- Aggressive: This type of toddler temper tantrum involves getting angry and reacting violently to what you are saying.
- Defensive: This type of toddler temper tantrums includes behaviors such as shutting down, withdrawing, and refusing to communicate.
- Frustration: This type of toddler temper tantrum involves a toddler who is extremely upset because he can’t complete a certain task.
Why do toddler tantrums happen?
Tantrums occur when toddlers’ needs are not met or when they do not get their way. As a result, tantrums happen frequently among toddlers and this is why parents dread them so much.
These temper tantrums usually manifest in situations where your toddler feels overwhelmed by his emotions, frustrated because he cannot communicate what he wants to say or how he feels, and/or tired because he has been trying to communicate his wants and needs all day long.
Some common triggers that may result in toddler temper tantrums include:
- Feeling overwhelmed by too many people around.
- Frustration with not being able to complete a task or activity.
- Separation from you and/or his siblings, such as at daycare or while shopping in stores without your toddler.
- Hunger or fatigue from being awake too long without a nap or napping at the wrong time of day.
Tips to handle toddler temper tantrums:
Toddler temper tantrums are an inevitable part of toddlerhood. There’s no denying that toddler tantrums can be tough to handle, but there are ways to deal with them effectively and without too much stress.
Here are 7 tips to handle toddler temper tantrums:
Be patient and stay calm:
Stay as calm as possible, even if your toddler is not responding to you. If you become overly emotional or angry during a tantrum. It may actually escalate the situation and make matters much worse than they already are.
Staying focused on keeping yourself under control will help keep your toddler in check too. If your toddler begins to notice that your emotions are out of control, he may react in a more aggressive fashion.
Use a soothing tone while talking:
When toddler temper tantrums happen, try to stay calm and use a soothing tone of voice. If your toddler is yelling or talking loudly during the tantrum, speak calmly in his direction without trying to yell over him.
Even though toddler temper tantrums are frustrating for everyone involved, try your best not to yell or scream at your toddler. If you do so, you will only add fuel to the fire and make him angrier than he already is.
Give them time alone:
Toddlers need space when they are having an emotional outburst so give it to them. You can do this by simply saying “I will come back later” as you leave their room for some quiet time away from everyone else.
Your toddler may be embarrassed after he has calmed down that other people were there while he was throwing a fit. But at least now he knows how much attention these outbursts get which reduces future likelihoods of tantrums happening again.
Offer an alternative activity:
If your toddler temper tantrums are happening because he is frustrated with something. Then you should offer an alternative activity for him to do other than the one that causes frustration.
For example, if it’s bath time and your toddler does not want to take a bath anymore, give him options for other activities such as playing outside or reading books together in bed.
Praise your toddler for good behavior:
When toddler temper tantrums happen, it’s a good idea to look for positive moments during the tantrum too. This means praising your toddler when he is being patient or cooperative while going through an activity that usually causes frustration with him.
This will help motivate him in continuing his new behavior and teach him patience even on days where nothing seems to go right.
Give time out for bad behavior punishment:
If toddler temper tantrums are happening because of too many negative behaviors on your toddler’s part. Then you should give him time out for bad behavior to help teach him how not to act in these circumstances again.
This could mean taking away a favorite toy or game temporarily until he calms down and can be more cooperative with everyone else around him. You will know when the toddler temper tantrum has passed once his body language is relaxed, calm, and ready to cooperate again.
Reward good behavior:
Like praising their positive moments during tantrums. It’s also important that toddlers receive rewards for being patient throughout activities that usually cause them frustration as well.
This helps motivate them into continuing this new behavior after they have calmed down from toddler. It’s also a great way to encourage toddler temper tantrums from happening again in the future.
Toddler temper tantrums have been around since time began and they are not going away anytime soon. But, you can learn how to deal with them effectively. So that everyone remains safe during these outbursts while keeping your toddler happy at the same time.
Give lots of hugs
After a toddler relaxes, it’s important that everyone involved takes some time to spend with him/her frequently. It is also great to give hugs and/or kisses while spending quality time together without distractions like TV or other electronics.
This helps toddlers to learn appropriate coping methods for their emotions while keeping everyone else happy at the same time.
There you go! Hope these tips will help you calm those toddler temper tantrums. I know it’s not easy but I always tell myself – this too shall pass.
Do you have any other tips that can help with toddler tantrums? Comment below
